Okay, so I’m nearly 50 years old and I am still getting a handle on this topic. But I am trying to impress a lesson on Jimmy lately. In order to help him be better prepared in the mornings. And to help him manage his school work better. Like I told him this morning though, it is a question of doing your ‘Have To’s’ before you can do your ‘Want to’s’.
For example every morning I have a pretty set routine. I wake up, review e-mails, FB, and now Reminders. Then I get up, take a shower and dress. Then make the kids lunches, and breakfasts, and my own lunch. Then I can eat my own breakfast and read a little bit before it is time to wrangle kids to school. And that is similar to what I am trying to get Jimmy to work on. Get up, take a shower, make lunch, then sit down and eat breakfast while watching a cartoon. And when he gets home from school, sit down and do home work before going online and catching up with buddies and/or playing games.
It’s an interesting question and struggle. Balancing the have to’s and the want to’s. Being an adult is all about that balance. Some do a better job than others. And for some life is so full of Have To’s that they never get around to the Want To’s. And there are those who spend so much time on the Want To’s that they neglect the Have To’s, getting into trouble.
For me the problem is not so much that I neglect the immediate Have To’s. It has been that I have let some of them slip, because I was relying on my memory to remind me of them. Or I just let them sit out there unfinished and neglected because I was taking care of other ones. That meant my subconscious was full of niggling reminders that there were things I had to do, but hadn’t gotten around to doing so yet. Which drove my own anxieties, so I had to find a way to get a better handle on things.
But the real issue is learning to balance things, doing your have to’s, so you can have time for your want to’s. But not spending so much time on your want to’s that you neglect the have to’s. Again, I am still getting a handle on this myself. My tendency is to neglect the have to’s, or give them incorrect priorities (which is a whole different topic.) But I am hoping that by working on this now, and showing Jimmy what I am doing that he will develop his own ways of handling it all.