I had a hard day yesterday no particular reason, just woke up that way. The whole day was a struggle. From just waking up and getting out of bed to doing everyday things to dealing with anything. All day I just felt terrible.
I did my best to cope. I forced myself to get out and do some shopping with Kim. Just to get out of the house. The day was not a complete waste. But it still felt terrible. Like my brain was too big for my skull. Just a kind of pressure all day long.
Kim is off the next two weeks, which means she will be around the house in the mornings as I get the kids ready for the school. Today Jimmy asked if he could have a rest day. Not completely sure why he needed it. Had I not had such a terrible day yesterday I probably would have been more hardcore and said no. But having had a day like that, when I knew that I could barely cope with family, much less anyone else, made me more open when Jimmy asked for a day to rest.
Kim was not so understanding. She said I was too soft on the kids, not forcing them to go to school.
I prefer to think of it as being more understanding. By giving Jimmy this day off I realized that he would not ask if he did not think he really needed it. And more importantly, a day off now to sleep might help stave off a migraine headache later. I get that. I can see now how he needs days like this. It is his first missed day of the year so far. I do not think he will fall behind missing one day instead of potentially a lot more if a headache hits.
Yes, I am softer on getting the kids to go to school than I used to be. But I think that is because I have become more open and understanding of their problems than I used to be. And I am relaxing my own need for control over everything they do. Staying home for health reasons (physical or mental) is not a threat to my standing as a parent.
This is all my own way of coping. Keeping my mind open. Doing my best to not let my own issues have a negative impact on others. I think I am doing much better at this than I used to.