I didn’t sleep great last night. The dogs woke me up twice. But that has happened before. But for some reason, my stupid brain picked today to fuck with me. I am hyper aware of every little flaw and small thing that bothers me. I know now from experience that I just have to ride this out. That by tomorrow things should get back to normal.
In the meantime, I just have to pick and choose my fights. Do my best to keep myself mentally isolated so the hyper-awareness does not drag me down. It is a strange feeling. I wish I did not have to cope with this. But I can at least be thankful for the awareness that it is only temporary. And that I know what is causing it. And that I work the kind of job where I am not constantly under a barrage of the kind of input that would overwhelm me.
On the plus side, we at least know where Danny will be for school next year. I called the one school where we were waiting on his permit. And they said that they would not be able to give a firm answer until August.
Kim made the very good point that we should just put him in the neighborhood school after all. And not worry anymore about wait lists. Because waiting until August, having him ready for one school, and then switching him, would not be good for him. Throwing that kind of uncertainty and change at my mini-me would be really tough on him. All of which means that we will just withdraw the permit application and put him in the local school.
This does have the advantage of knowing that he will be going into a smaller environment, which will be better for him. He will still have his family supporting him socially. And he will have Scouts as well for support. As an added benefit he will get the chance to make more neighborhood friends. It is the opposite of my own experience, but one I think will benefit him. He will go from the magnet school where his classmates come from all over town to the neighborhood school.
Academically I think he will be fine. With his reading issues, he needs to be somewhere where he can get some level of individual attention. And being in the smaller school the odds of that increase. With him, it is not as much of an issue to be challenged academically at this point. He has a long way to go academically and I do think that being in a larger school the odds of him being ignored are greater.
Even on a day when my stupid brain is being annoying I can find some positives. And focus on those. And do my best to ignore all the other little stuff that threatens my mental well being.