When I first started this whole blogging this all those years ago I didn’t really think about why I was doing it. I have changed my approach several times over the years. Been through a couple of different blogs. Much of it reflecting my interests at the time, what I wanted to share with the world. And over the past year or so it has become a de facto journal. Which has led to some oversharing by some people’s standard’s. But I want to take a moment to share those readers who have been with me on this journey.
I try not to go to deep into things about those people who might read this. Endeavoring to not get into names. In the interest of avoiding hurt feelings. And if you have been named here and would prefer I avoid doing so in the future please let me know.
It has been a rough couple of weeks. I have fallen into a not so good routine. Physical illness has taken a real toll. Changes in the home routine have not come easily. I have felt more than a little like things are out of control, in a bad way.
But talking through this here has helped a lot. Pouring forth my feelings has the desired effect of a good venting session with a therapist. And it has helped to not have any judgemental feedback.
And I am doing my best to focus on what I can control. From little things like making sure the kitchen is clean in the mornings before I leave. Packing kids lunches. Controlling what I eat.
And I am working on adapting other tools. Like making a more conscious use of note taking applications and reminders so I don’t forget stuff when it springs to mind. Like this morning, I had a thought about my Denver game and took a minute to open up Evernote and type it down. Knowing that I won’t forget things helps a lot. I loaded the Grammarly app to my Chrome browser a couple of weeks ago and I think that the quality of my writing is improving from that.
For me, it is about giving myself little victories. Little things where I can count myself in control. Which spreads to my emotional core. A feeling of ‘see? Life is not that out of control if it was you would not have done that.’
I thank the Internet, faceless and not so faceless followers. For being my audience and giving me a place to work this all out. And providing the tools I can use to get through it all.