Ever have that feeling that something bad is about to happen? Well maybe not everyone, but if you suffer from anxiety issues like me you can definitely get those feelings. Today was one of those days, I could feel something coming. I just need to throw some of those feelings out on ‘paper’ in order to determine if any are legitimate. Because that is what this blog can be for me, a place to reason out what I am feeling, often just setting it down gives me a sense of perspective.
Today it felt like the weather was really changing. And according to the forecasts that is exactly what is happening. Tomorrow is supposed to be cold and rainy, with some intermittent rain the rest of the week. This by itself is not unusual, it is late October here in Colorado, and in some years we have even had a touch of snow already. Which means it is no big deal. And I have good tires on my car now so I have less to fear regarding bad weather.
But for me it seems like bad weather can bring those dark moods on. I know that there is some research out there that shows this is normal. But it just means one more thing to think about. And do my best to not worry about it, as I really have no control over the weather, it is just something that happens. But that doesn’t remove my concerns, I just have to face them head on, and not let them control my life.
As I left the house Jimmy seemed a little tired, but he said he felt fine otherwise. Then apparently he fell after I left, hitting his head, and is now getting tests done (thanks Grandma Lolly for being there and taking him.) Which is just one more thing with him. If he has a concussion (which seems likely) that means another week gone. And all the trouble that causes. I have done my best to release my control over him, but I can’t help some of it, I am his Dad after all. I just cannot help but think there is something else going on there, and look forward to his therapy on Saturday.
And of course all the other extra curricular activities are picking up. Danny and Emily have Raingutter Regatta this week. Kim and Danny have a Scout campout this weekend. Emily has her birthday sleepover Saturday night. Jimmy has a meet Thursday (although if he has a concussion that is out.) Then next week is Halloween, and Parent Teacher conferences. It is a full docket for sure. Which can have its own effect on me.
As you can see, way too many things coming at me right now. I just have to keep my head up. Take my medications. And take one day and issue at a time. And focus on those things I can control, not on what I cannot control.