Getting through, a day at a time, by returning to the old

This week is the first real case of Danny feeling bad with not actual symptoms, luckily he has his appointment today. I am slowly figuring out things I can do to get through the week. And of course Jimmy resumed wrestling practice. It’s all an exercise in just finding ways to get through it all.

As someone who has his own struggles with anxiety, and depression, there is nothing harder than forcing my child with the same problems to do something he doesn’t want to do. When he has these periods of complaining about his stomach, and how he doesn’t feel good, and how he doesn’t want to go to school it just kills me to have to force him. I just want to say, ‘hey buddy I know exactly how you feel, and I don’t feel well enough to work today either so let’s drop Emily off, go home and hide out in our blanket forts.’ But I don’t do that or say that, I tough it out, and get him to tough it out. And then hope that he can slowly figure out whatever it is that is making him feel this way, and learn to cope.

My parents and family are getting a glimpse into my work, with my working from home. And I don’t think they really get it, how can I be working when all it looks like is playing computer games or whatever? That is one of the things with the knowledge/service industry. I am getting paid to be available, and when I am called I can fix someones problems smoothly and efficiently. And there is down time between those calls, and in some ways the best way to handle that is to find a way to keep my mind occupied. It is just how it works.

This week Jimmy returned to wrestling practice. And he is handling it well. And is working busily during lunches to get all caught up on his school work. He is slowly getting it all together. But I think it will help him to start his therapy this weekend, getting someone to talk with, and a different perspective on it all.

Now that everything is really settling in, school, changes in work schedule, and with no time off coming soon it is one of those times when we all have to muddle through. Accept that we have to work, go to school, do homework, keep up with household chores. And we all find ways to cope. Kim has her many shows. I have my games, books, and painting, the kids have their shows and games. It is when we run out of those, or turn to unhealthy options that our lives go wrong. Which is one of the reasons I have been embracing the games this past year, by returning to the old, I have found a past time that truly fills up that down time in a healthy manner.


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