Getting my mellow back

It’s amazing what a good nights sleep can do. I feel rested today, and without the anxiety that has plagued me the rest of the week. In addition there was some good news at work. And I have some things to look forward to again. It all adds up to a return to my feeling of mellow again today.

I decided last night that it wasn’t worth the mental hassle to keep trying to get myself up early for a swim during the week. I can make that a weekend activity going forward, and maybe try to find some time to get walking again instead. But the important thing is to remove that concern from my head before I go to sleep. And I had some help getting to sleep last night, which I am sure made a big difference.

This morning everything felt more or less normal. I didn’t freak out over some little things (cleaning up dog pee, almost forgetting to get gas on the way to work, co-worker calling in sick.) I’m getting myself back into delegation mode, letting other people worry about the things that I cannot control anyway.

Had a meeting with my boss yesterday. I’m in kind of an odd situation at work, being kind of the sole full time supporter for one piece of software. And it has been kind of slow so it has not felt like I have been contributing all that much. Plus, having been with the company so long, and been through more than few RIF’s I get a bit of a survivor’s mentality when meeting with anyone (is this ‘that meeting’? How do I justify my continued presence?) Of course it turned out that is all just the anxiety and nerves messing with me. He was happy with my work, no comments about my music. And he even gave me a side job that is honestly right up my alley. Again, my brain had me all worked up for nothing.

This weekend Kim and Danny will be gone for a Scout camp out. Which leaves me and the youngest and oldest. But, chances are Emily will end up at a friends house at least one of the nights. So it could end up being just me and Jimmy a good chunk of the time. Which means I will be able to just do my own thing for the most part, which is nice. Plus I get to pick up the new tires for my car, which is something that I really need.

Yep, I can almost feel the mellow and excellence returning to my mood. Things to look forward to. Concerns removed. It all adds up in the end.


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