Saturday night Danny had a sleep over with one of his best school buddies. A buddy of his that he doesn’t get to see nearly enough since he changed schools (the buddy not Danny.) The last time he went over for a sleep over he didn’t make it, had to be picked up. But this time it was just him, not him and Emily and I figured that would make the difference.
Funny, I started seeing a change as I drove him over. When we left the house he was smiling, and excited. As we got closer he seemed to get more quiet, and less excited. But he seemed happy to be there when I dropped him off.
Around midnight I got a call and voice mail asking me to come get him. I texted with the Mom a few times, and then decided to just go get him. He said he wasn’t feeling well, that his tummy hurt. Come to find out that he might have been okay, and was maybe asleep when she went to check on the boys, and woke him up. And at that point he looked around and decided that he wasn’t going to stay.
And he complained all of Sunday about his tummy. Even when we went over to the family get together, he would play for short spurts, and then stop and hunch over.
Well this was the final straw for me. I think the poor guy has maybe stayed all the way through a sleepover once or twice all summer. It is very clear that his anxiety issues are not something that he will grow out of. We know that the tummy issues are not physical, he has been to see many doctors and gotten an okay on everything we can check.
Here’s the thing, this is not new behavior to me. I have mentioned in the past about how Danny is my mini me. Almost down to his appearance (save for the metabolism.) But more than anything it is the anxiety and nerves that I recognize. Because that was me so often. I had a lot of little quirks, similar to his tummy aches. I could talk myself out of trying anything. Or going out of my way to not do things I wasn’t good at. So I recognize this.
But this event was the trigger that I needed. It got me off my butt and forced me to finally make the calls and find him a therapist. Thing is I know that he is going into 5th Grade. But many of the kids he was friends with have moved on, so it might be a tough start to the year. But, more importantly, he needs help developing some strategies now, because a year from now he will be going into Middle School, and if he doesn’t have something ready by then, he will get chewed up. We don’t have the luxury my parents had of sending him off to an expensive private school better suited to his personality. And I think in the long run it will be better for him to work on this now, instead of waiting or focusing on the environment.
I am excited for him, and have high hopes. And I look forward to helping him with whatever I can when it comes time to develop those strategies. And I am glad I finally got the ball rolling.