Well it has been a rough couple of days, a week really. But I have hope for the future, with plans and excitement for the weekend. School is almost done for the kids, 1 week for the little ones, and 8 days for Jimmy. We are taking advantage of the opportunity given us by the flooding to reconfigure things in the house. And this weekend I have my Denver game, which is something I really look forward to.
I am definitely excited for school to be over. It will be nice to be down to only 2 days a week at most having to get up and make lunches etc. I can really take advantage of that to resume a better morning schedule and maybe get in some exercise again. And of course the kids are just as excited. I may make the occasional remark about the kids getting older and bigger, but in reality that excites me more than anything. Get Older! Get Independent! Become Interesting Human Beings!
This weekend I move from emergency basement clean up to doing some honest purging. The bookshelf has become a disaster (again.) And to be honest, if the kids are going to read, they are more likely to read e-books. So the time has come to clear out everything but a few essentials, books I cannot get or series that I worked hard to complete. The plus side of this is that I will get the chance to move at least some of my hobby stuff out to the main room as a result.
I envision the basement becoming a recreation/hobby room. With space for Lego, kids play toys (barbies etc.) And also room to play games, where I can run D&D games. And also maybe get a hobby area for myself where I can have my painting projects set up semi-permanently. if I am honest, I miss having that kind of space in the house. So I plan to seize this opportunity with both hands and not give it up.
I am excited for my monthly Denver game this weekend. It is nice to get that time to myself, the long drive alone does not bother me in the least. And it is a great diversion and escape for a day. And definitely needed at this point.
Last, on the mental health front I have found something out, that might help. I recently have begun to notice something. Often when I get these bad days, or anxious or whatever, just drinking a soda helps things (and sometimes some junk food but that is a different issue.) So I did some research on Depression and Caffeine, and it turns out that Caffeine is actually a bad thing for Depressives. And what is likely happening is a bit of withdrawal. Which leads me to a course of action that I plan to undertake: namely dropping all caffeine. I plan to wait until after the dust of school end settles. But at that point I am just going to have to do it. It is not going to be easy, and it is entirely likely I may fail, or at the least will be pretty anxious for a little while.
I have tried this before, but for different reasons. And this time I have considerably more motivation. Because I know that if I can cut out the caffeine entirely I should be able to level out my moods better. All the research indicates that is the case, and I need to keep doing things like this for my own well being.
So yeah, I took a couple bad shots last weekend. Got knocked down. But I am getting back up, dusting myself off and moving on. With some exciting plans, and some things to really look forward to. And I have come to realize just how important that is, without something to look forward to life just feels like a death march.