For some reason when I was thinking of things to write about today I just felt like a list. Specifically a list of things, in no specific order, for which I am grateful. These are not the only things I am grateful for, that would be a much longer list, but this is what springs to my mind on this blustery spring May Day.
I have spoken of my odd childhood. How I attended somewhat odd hippy schools for much of my life. And I have mentioned that I did a lot of backpacking when I was younger, even if I didn’t necessarily appreciate it at the time.
Well I was thinking about something else today (specifically a D&D question about my favorite class) and it occurred to me how grateful I was for that odd upbringing. Because one of the things it taught me, and ingrained in me was a love of and appreciation of nature. And it taught me to think of my role as a a steward of nature, rather than a master. I will admit that some of that didn’t stick with me, I like to hike but I don’t backpack or camp as much as I did as a child. But I think that background has really stuck with me and sunk in, the idea of being a good steward of the land. And that is something I am grateful for.
I am grateful for therapy. While I have been to therapists over the years, with differing results, I see how many people out there just don’t appreciate mental health. Last night I did something foolish, damaged my phone, and it won’t be easy or free to correct it. But I can’t help but think that if this had happened a year ago this would have sent me into a dreadful spiral. I would have let myself stew and boil over this, and really eat at me. But I am already moving past it (for the most part.) And I credit my ability for being able to do so to therapy and medication having taught me to control those negative feelings and prevent that slump.
And I am grateful for Kim. My wonderful companion and wife. It is coming up on 20 years that we have been together. And I was thinking yesterday how much she takes on, splitting duties as parents and the household. For example, she handles the money for us, which is a very good thing, because that is something that I can do, but find very hard to handle well emotionally without getting crazy. Another example, I mentioned that I wanted to get the yard picked up and ready for Mother’s Day, as we normally host an event that day. And how I planned to spend the weekend working on it. Well last night after she got home she took the time to get out and get started on the work with the kids, so I will not feel as much pressure to get it all done in one day. I don’t know if that was planned on her part, but just her doing it, which is a common thing, beginning or even doing a project before I even start on it, that is a real load off my shoulders. I really don’t know what I would do without her.
Little exercises like this are good from time to time. A little mental check list that reminds me that things are actually going well. They help stave off the down times. And a good way to end a week.